My quitting story - One Year Ramble

     I started smoking at the age of 15.  I was looking for, fun and excitement; and I wanted to be a unique individual, different from 'the mold'.  In my immature thinking, I believed cigarettes, alcohol and drugs could provide those for me.  Though I wasn't dependent on drugs and alcohol, it didn't take me long to get addicted to nicotine.  I wish I could blame the tobacco industry as so many others do, but in clear conscience can't, because I knew it was unhealthy before I started.  I was able to quit for a couple of years prior to my first pregnancy and birth of my first child.  Pressures and stresses built and I started smoking again to "alleviate" them.  This time the nico-demon took control and pretty much owned me for the next thirty plus years.  I tried quitting many times through those years, but was unsuccessful, lasting only three months at my longest quit.

      I believe I used cigarettes to cope (or actually avoid) most situations and emotions.  I think that is why quitting was so difficult; I hadn't developed many effective coping skills through those years.  I mainly developed escaping skills.  Not only did I have a difficult time making it through situations, I also had a difficult time seeing the truth about me when I tryied quitting, and realized how inadequate I really was at dealing with things.  The worse I felt about myself, the harder quitting became.

      My health was spiraling downhill.  The daily coughing and bronchitis wouldn't clear, so I went to a physician.  The x-rays and breathing tests showed emphysema and COPD, but not cancer.  My adult son pressured my daily, my grandchildren, begged, they all melted my heart.  I knew the time was right for me me to quit.

      Online websites such as QuitNet helped me through this ordeal.  Before quitting, I read the programs and tips outlined from these sites and came up with a game plan that I believed would work for me.  I followed suggestions especially from the expert forums, but also from many fellow members there.  The variety of personalities and experiences of the QuitNet members make it possible to find and give the kind of support each individual may need.  Sometimes I needed expert advice, and sometimes I just needed some friends to pass time and cravings trivializing with.  There's a lot of encouragement sent through e-mails and informative help available through the site and the people at the Q.  I'm grateful for the friendship and support my buddies have given to me there.

      In addition to the websites, I remembered many past quit attempts and pondered why they probably failed and tried to avoid those traps again.  I read books, studied, and planned in preparation before I quit.  This was valuable, because my ability to concentrate and focus was almost mon-existent for quite a while after I quit.  In past quits I found nicotine replacements and anti-depressants weren't the answer for me.  So I decided to cleanse my body as quickly as possible and develop, for the first time in my life, a whole body health program.  I used herbal cleanses, vitamin C and drank a lot of water to help get the nicotine out fast.  I won't lie.  It was very difficult. 

      I relapsed after a week.  This is when a particular buddy from QuitNet came to my rescue and immediately got me back on track.  I cut down and tried quitting seven days later.  I haven't had a cigarette since.  I listened to the advice because of his experience with overcoming addictions, cognitive therapy and many programs I had no knowledge in.  He combined the programs and talked me through many difficult moments, shedding new lighr and information on how to better cope with situations.  I studied and read more therapeutic books for insight; also studied the American Lung Association's FFS Online Quitting program.  I know I can never have one puff ever, but I feel like I'm a non-smoker now.

      I know I'll have to keep learning better coping techniques as life offers it's many twists and turns.  I'll keep working on accepting who I am; but also, I'll keep battling in order to improve, cope and grow.  That is what life is all about anyway.  I see, now, I can do that addiction-free.

      When I look back on this year, I see how the improvements really have come gradually.  It is easy to overlook and not appreciate them; but when I think of where my health was one year ago, and where I am today, the differnce really is immense.  I have to attribute much to a change in diet, much more exercise, but mostly quitting smoking.   There are so many ways I still want to improve my life for and help the people I care about...but I'm working on it and will be forever.  That's what life's journey is anyway, isn't it?

     Good luck and good life to all.  I'm cheering for you, as you work your way through your quitting smoking adventure.